Lost for words

But trying my best to find some Week 48 (Year 1)

*I wrote this piece a week ago when I was feeling melancholy and struggling to express myself. Forcing myself out to face the world did help and I was pleasantly surprised by the people I met and the different perspectives they gave me.*

I am flailing in my world of words. The ones I am writing, the ones I am reading and the ones I am trying to speak. My world of communication isn't making any sense at the moment and I have lost my way.

And yet, this morning, I managed to force some words out. I made a point of talking to my elderly neighbour and even disclosed something I was nervous about which was happening the following week. She said some kind, encouraging words and wished me well, making me feel a little better, knowing that someone else would be rooting for me.

I forced some more words out at the supermarket, chatting to the youngster on the till, finding out he was at university and so I asked what he was studying. International Relations was one of his courses and I laughed, saying that was definitely a good one to study, especially at the moment, with all the troubles in the world.

I came home with my heavy bags of shopping and a lighter mood, knowing that there would be others following behind me interested in creating peace in our world and hopefully making it a better place to live. And a neighbour who would be thinking of me as I faced my challenge the following week.

And as these positive thoughts started to settle, something unfurled within me, and although writing my weekly Substack resembled extracting words like teeth, I was determined to write it (a few days later than my usual Thursday), so close as I am to reaching a whole year of writing every week, along with knowing the pleasure I would feel when I finally hit the button to publish. And as always I was rewarded by some lovely responses in the comments, another reminder to keep sharing my words.

So, keep communicating, however you are feeling, try to push those words out. The conversations they spark and your interest in the wider world will show you that there are others who care too, and it is the natural way we share the load of life, which at times is hard to carry alone.

Thank you for reading.

Jane